 
Jack
Burton is not a licensed therapist. |
Baby Fred writes:
Dear Jack,
I have terrible indigestion. My parents make it worse by rocking
me often. How do I tell my parents not to rattle me too much after
I have eaten?
Dear Fred,
I had the same problem. Then I threw up on my
parents. That got the point across quickly. I suggest that
you spit up only when they are holding you. If they don't get the
message try throwing up on their favorite things...like expensive
clothing, new rugs, or important work papers. I'm sure that will
do the trick.
Baby Olivia writes:
Dear Jack,
Thanks for the preview of life on the outside. I'm thinking of
staying inside, but my lease runs out in about 5 months. Any
suggestions? Keep up the good work. You are touching
millions with your keen insight and fancy dance moves.
Olivia Morse (womb 29987747, Geneva, NY)
Dear Olivia,
I was in your position once. You can try
to overstay your lease, but that often angers the landlord who will
undoubtedly seek the assistance of authorities to have you
extricated. Even then, extrications have been known to last 72
hours. I suggest you stretch out the extrication as long as
possible. Hey, you don't owe your landlord anything. If they
won't give you 30 days notice then I say make the move as difficult and
as painful as possible for the landlord! Good luck.
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